Welcome to day 5 of surgery recovery and based on the title of this post it should not be hard to imagine days 2, 3 &4 went from the bizarre to frustration with a dash of humiliation.
The morning after surgery went fine. I discovered dilaudid and its magic elixir does wonders for a person's state of mind when dealing with pain. The only problem is it is not included in the gift bag as you leave the hospital. As I searched through the gift bag full of the clothes I wore the day before the hospital had determined I was just fine and ready to go home and the transfer of power had been made from medical experts to people whose medical expertise came from binge watching medical shows.
Now you would think going home would be exciting but this was number one on my what I dread about surgery list. I have and read and been told countless times to not put any weight on the foot that was operated on and keep it elevated for the first two weeks. Easier said than done and the pain that went with any ounce of weight on the surgical foot was a constant reminder and I swear there was a little man dressed like a Doctor flipping a switch with this hideous laugh while sending pain to my right foot every time I accidentally stepped on that foot.
After much debate we determined based on our medical expertise, the best place for me was on the floor of the mini van. That alone required 4 bolts of pain so no way was I considering the comfort of a seat. Next came exiting the van once we arrived home only to see a vast spread of concrete called the garage floor. My team of experts began the process of how we would get me to the next obstacle, a set of three steps up. First we tried a wagon used for Grandchildren that now needs a 4 wheel alignment. We quickly eliminated the strong shoulders of my medical team and when I heard the distinct sound of a furniture dolly being assembled I summoned the strength on a Ninja Warrior to grab the walker and took the needed hops with no weight on the right foot in order to land at the base of the dreaded three steps. I chose the backwards butt slide up those steps then an arm crawl across the dining room and kitchen floors, reversed to a forward butt slide down 5 steps to my living level, mounted my new knee scooter, maneuvered to my new bedroom, threw up and crawled into bed. There ends Day Two.
Advice was one reason to write this so if you are facing surgery like this you will have some idea what to expect. Next to getting in and out of the car, hygiene was a major concern. especially getting to and going to the bathroom. Lets get this out of the way, everybody pees and everybody poops so going forward those are the words I am using. I know this is from a guy's perspective but guy or girl, don't be afraid to ask for help. Guys can use plastic urinals and I assume a girl has to sit on the dreaded bed pan. In the hospital they have seen it all a million times so keep telling yourself this. At home find a friend or family member that is willing to do what no one asks a friend to do. In my case, my son in law has gone above and beyond and handles it with great patience and understanding. A weird sense of humor seems to help as well. The worst thing you can do is not deal with this upfront and be faced with a humiliating experience like peeing all of yourself then asking for help. Know who is helping you and make sure they know what they are getting into. Its a temporary thing, you are not asking them to do this for the rest of your lives and one day you will laugh....I hope.
Day 4 started with a breakdown after not being able to get to the bathroom in time and having to lie in wait for help, knowing the things I would never want to be asked to do I was going to have to ask my son in law to do for me I really thought there was no way I could handle this and see this through and could only think I would end up in a Rehab center. Tears did not help and feeling sorry for myself did not work, I just had to face reality. I hope that was a turning point because the rest of the day brought hope for less pain through out the day and being able to deal with it. For me Surgery was on a Thursday and everyone who was helping were off on Friday then we had the weekend to get settled without dealing with work schedules as well. Day 5 brings a home health care worker to assess where we are and how we are doing
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